Large Boulder the Size of a Small Boulder Day
A microholiday
On January 27th, 2020, the official twitter account for the sheriff of San Miguel, Colorado posted a warning to drivers to avoid a large boulder the size of a small boulder blocking east-bound traffic on Highway 145.
Clearly they mean something like “large rock the size of a small boulder” or simply “large boulder.” The silliness of what they posted — the delightful self-contradiction in an otherwise routine traffic safety update — quickly became a niche sensation. KYM lists that the post received over 162K likes within a day, over twenty times the 2020 population of San Miguel county. KYM describes it as a ‘phrasal gaffe,’ which I think is appropriate enough, but not very specific. The nearest I can get to describing this construction with a literary device (without trying to coin something for it) is that it’s a kind of verbose oxymoron. The <small-boulder-sized> <large boulder> is akin to the <jumbo> <shrimp>.
Anyway, the post stuck in the back of my mind as one of those brief memes that comes and goes. A year later however, on January 27th, 2021, someone marked the anniversary with a refreshed retweet of the original boulder post: “Happy large boulder size of a small boulder day to those who celebrate.” After that I marked my calendar for ‘large boulder size of small boulder day’ set to recur annually on the 27th.
It’s a somewhat melancholy holiday so far. There are no traditions when the day comes except that I’ll maybe look up the original tweet, maybe share it with some friends. But there’s very little recognition of it in the broader culture, no parades, no special foods to eat. I want to change that.
Here’s how to celebrate Large boulder the size of a small boulder Day this Monday:
Go outside and find yourself a rock that is of appropriate size for your abode. If you have space for it and can haul it in, a large boulder (approx. small-boulder-sized) might work. For a city apartment like mine, I’m going for a large cobble, ideally the size of a small cobble. Ideally, your rock should come from the middle of a road, street, path, etc.
Susan Lilly, the public information officer for the sheriff’s office, takes credit for the tweet, so we have at least one hero to honor. Light a candle for her and place it on or next to your rock.
Eat pop rocks, rock candy, kellogg’s fruity pebbles, and chocolate pebbles if you can get them.
Put on your favorite rock album.
Drink irresponsibly
Remember to replace your rock on the side of the road you took it from the next day.
